Well, we have made it: Today is my due date, after nine months of pregnancy and preparation to meet our little girl. I’m still not sure when exactly she is going to arrive, but this will be the last of the pregnancy updates until that time comes—and that fact absolutely thrills (and also astounds) me!
Here’s how things have been faring this past month:
THE BABY. At forty weeks, the baby weighs between 6.2 to 9.2 pounds and measures about 18.9 to 20.19 inches, making her approximately the size of a jackfruit. (Interesting produce choice, there.) She had dropped and is head-down, so she’s ready for her exit whenever the time is right (and causing me to waddle until then!). She’s still wiggling and squirming, as always, and I’ve actually grown so accustomed to it that I don’t even notice anymore!
PHYSICALLY. I have felt pretty great, although this past month I finally started feeling uncomfortable from her growing size and heft. Things like rolling over in bed (because I had to switch sides every hour or so to alleviate the weight placed on my hips), bending over, and even getting out of the car have finally become difficult. Not awful, but uncomfortable enough that I told my husband that I couldn’t wait until I could sit up from a laying down position without difficulty that I might just start doing sit-ups for fun once I can!
I’m feeling more fatigued again, having to take more breaks and time to rest than I was even a month ago. I read somewhere that this is like the calm before the storm—that your body starts to conserve energy in preparation for labor, delivery and nursing.
BABY STUFF. Her nursery is finished and everything in place. There are sheets on her crib and clothes, washed and hung, in her closet. Her play-yard is set up, a diaper station is in place, her monitor is plugged in, her toys have all been cleaned, books are on her shelves, and my hospital bag ready. I think we’re pretty much ready for her arrival, as far as I can tell. The amount of things we’ve collected over the course of the pregnancy for her (thanks to our incredibly generous friends and family!) still surprises me!
EMOTIONS. People ask if I’m “ready” for her to come. On a practical level, yes, we are totally ready (see above). But on an emotional level, I have to say no, I’m not ready. And that’s not because I’m not excited, but simply because I cannot even begin to wrap my head around what it’s going to be like to have a child and to care for her every single day for years. How can you feel ready for that?! I’m looking forward to it, absolutely, but I stand and look at it and admit that I simply cannot fathom what lies ahead for me. But you know what? I’m okay with that.
WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO. Of course just meeting her is enough. But I can't wait to see her, see if she has a full head of hair (make that heartburn worthwhile!). I can't wait to see her showcase some of her personality, rather than just filter it through her kicks, twists and turns. (She seems to roll around quite a bit but has never kicked me, so I like to think she's sweet with a little feist!) I'm looking forward to the joy that comes once she's born and the overwhelming love that comes with it, a chance to really get what unconditional love feels like. And practically, I'm really looking forward to sleeping on my back again!
WHAT I'LL MISS. I am sure I'll miss all the free time I've had the luxury of having, like right now, being able to type a blog post and edit photos without worrying about time constraints or cries in the background. I'll miss getting to run in and out of the grocery store for just an item or two without it being a big ordeal. But those are all things of convenience. And I'm a firm believer that God never intended for our lives to be solely convenient, otherwise why would he tell us, "In this world you will have trouble"? No, I believe inconvenience is in fact good for my heart and helps teach me a little more about surrender. So though I'll miss them, I must remember that they, too, are worthwhile. For the sake of my daughter and my soul.
For now, though, we wait!
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